What do you do?

I always feel uncomfortable when people ask me that. You can't just say "I do lots of drugs.". Well, you can, but it tends to be a bit of a conversation stopper. So what DO I do?

Well, that's a bit difficult to explain. I suppose that basically I have a lot of projects I work on, schemes if you will. Schemes which may make me rich but in all reality are probably just time consuming and insanely expensive hobbies that I will pursue until I realize one day I have no money to pay for my lunch so I will rush in a panic and get a new job...until I get bored and have enough cash I don't feel the immediate pressure to keep working. Then rinse and repeat. Who knows, maybe some day something will turn into an actual career.

Lately, I have found myself fascinated by horticulture. I always liked plants and gardening and have had to do a lot of work to transform the barren plot around my house into something that provides shade if I go outside in daylight (not that I do), since my skin is as pale and delicate as a vampire princess's.

I especially like grapevines. I am not sure I can explain why, but I think part of it is that they are sort of complicated in a sense but at the same time no other plant will giv you such instant gratification. You can let them just sit in your yard doing nothing, or you can force them into any pattern you like and get them to any size you want. Some of the largest (the largest?) plants in the world are grape vines, and one grape vine can yield up to 20 tons of fruit per year if you give it the food and water and light it needs and train it up.

Then I got to thinking. Pot. Grapes. Are they like peanut butter and jelly? Could I not make marijuana grapes? It's easier to cross plants than you'd think, though it is time consuming. Not time consuming insofar as doing it but obviously you have to wait for them to actually grow to see what comes up - which, when trying to force seeds from two things totally different together is going to almost always be nothing when you first start. Once you get something that lives, though, you crossbreed it back one way or the other to get the traits you want, until eventually you could get grape vines with THC etc. in the leaves or even berries.

Then I got to thinking about genetic engineering. The great thing about all the computer science education I have is that all other science is pretty much small potatoes. Genetic engireering actually isn't hard in the least or hard to understand, the problem is that it's a ton of trial and error and lots of expensive equipment. Nowadays that equipment is in the realm of the reasonable, though, and some people are trying to create this and that or the other at home.

I think that dandelions with DMT in the roots and pot in the leaves is my new project. It's not that I am so pro drug as that I am sick of the war on drugs. I know firsthand that to the police it's 100% about money, and that's how they get all their cash. When the world is covered in my psychotropic dandelions this will stop once and for all and we can move on to more important matters, such as debating whether Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble is more attractive.