Dear John Smith

First off, askin for a freind. Aint nothing wrong with my skills in bed. But uh, my friend knew this girl a long time but she was married. They'd flirt like crazy and always talk and have a good time on their dairy queen shifts for years on end. One day he is talking to her and she says she is getting a divorce. In minutes, they are locked in the walkin steaming it up, for about half a week it was like that then she just never had any more interest in my...friend.

Now it's driving him crazy and she's always hanging out like nothing happens but any time he brings up sex she seems kind of grossed out and just won't get into it with him or only wants to make jokes, yet no so long ago it was all she'd ever talk about.

Is there some way to get past these feelings of rejection? For him that's all he ever gets so having more of them is the last thing he needs and I'm surprised the guy's not killed himself or something by now. Is it healthy to try to have a normal friendship when you know you will always want more and they never will?

Is there some way to find out why he can't please women in bed since the only feedback they ever give is not sleeping with him any more? Or is this something you're just borne with or maybe am I, I mean he, just not at all attractive to women. If that's the case is there anything but suicide? How am I to life my life like that, knowing I will never be good enough for anyone or that most people will not even notice me and that I will contunie to fail in every part of life and will never be more than an object of pity. I mean him.

Signed,
Vaginaless in Virginia


Vaginaless - How should I know, man? Why do you keep sending me these emails all the time, anyway? I don't even know you! Maybe you should get counseling or see a priest or take a prozac or something. On second thought I still have the email address of penisless in pennsylvania. She seems needy and emotional. Maybe you'd get on well.

In other news, the kidlets are coming to visit.
It's easy to know what to do with the rest of the family. We all sit there while my brother or dad say insanethings that are obvious lies and then say nothing at all. Whn I have just the little kids it's noy so bad, though. We can do whatever we want. I like to make up holidays. Maybe it will ne chid emancipation day and we will beat pinatas full of candies until everyone collapses laughinh, not realizing the pot in the presents is leasking out through the air. Then it will be run from bicicyle cop time, whis is my best exercise but gets annoying really quickly.

Or...somehthng else. Not too much money. Makes kids happy. Is hopfully messy.