The internet has betrayed me

Attention, google employees! You have besmirched my honor and I hereby challenge you to a duel to the death!

There's lots of issues of general suckage with google starting to come through, but I especially dislike the prompts to complete google searchs. What is the exact point of this, anyway? To save someone from having to retype "britney snatch" because they mispelled it the first time?

Why not just get the microsoft search dog and clippy the paperclip to help out? To my chagrin I can't get instant, mindless obedience from the people around me, but can't I at least get it from my computer? C3P0 was cute in the movies but it doesn't take much of that behavior before a wookie like me just tears the smarmy bastard apart and wires his head on backwards for trying his patience.

Not to mention I don't need my nieces and nephews to start typing 'power puff girls' and get 'puffy nipple sperm team' to pop up in the search box. That's bad enough and really I could not think of something worse to happen, but felt too pathetic to complain about something like that.

As it turns out, there is worse, though. Since all the search hits for my blog are things like massive orgasm explosion I am not surprised to see a few search completions like that. What did surprise me is how personalized this stuff is. Too personalized. And insulting!

Am I really the kind of guy who would search 'loneliness cures' and 'mail order bride tokyo' and 'twilight guy is dreamy' and 'my so called life lunchbox' or 'I love you man'? I really resent that my personal info has been collated and sorted and whatnot and these are the results I get. Next they will add the word prozac onto all my searchs or just redirect me to a suicide prevention chatroom if this keeps up. Now, my life has not turned out to be as full of solid gold rocket cars and virgin supermodels begging me to deflower them as I once imagined it would be but surely I haven't sunk to the level of pathos google is implying.