The callous philanthropist

Now, I don't normally shop at walmart. Not just because it's kind of an evil corporation or because the mindbogglingly endless sea of ecstatic white trash shoppers buying shirts that say 'Made in America' in inch high letters on the front but say made in Honduras on the label depress me. Nor because it's chic not to. Not even because the surly demented homeless people they employ are maddening to the mind and offensive to the senses.

Well, yeah, all of those, but the topper is that the prices really aren't that great and walking through to find what you want takes eternity and the lack of employees that won't run away when you adress them makes it even worse. However, once in a while it will be 4am and you'll suddenly realize you need 300 feet more ducktape and 60 baggies of razorblades or you're never going to finish that razorblade staircase in time. So it went with me last week, and I found myself pulling into the parking lot.

What do I see, but an incredibly nice female ass as a girl bends over to collect some donated clothes for goodwill or whatever it was. Now normally every year I give a fair chunk of money to charity and pick something different each year, but since I have embarked on an incredibly time consuming and expensive hobby that I hope to turn into a low paying career one day I haven't been able to do that and I feel a vague nagging guilt from time to time.

Then I realized something I could do is volunteer work. That would serve two and even possibly three purposes. First, I could assuage the nagging guilt I feel about not really doing anything for others in some time. With some luck I might even find some hot hippy chick to shack up with. They are my favorite type. Partly because they are pretty close to my political views if not general world views, and partly because they are very easy. That is, if you are smart enough to let them know you have 6 pounds of exotic drugs secreted on your person it won't be long before you are getting seriously groped by a girl who doesn't mind if your hands roam around her peaks and valleys.

More on this later, but it's time for tacos. Tacos rule!